четверг, 24 марта 2016 г.

4 Basic Management Lessons

Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A 
small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit 
like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." 
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and 
rested. 
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and 
ate it.
Management Lesson
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, 
very high up.


Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able 
to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I 
haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" 
replied the bull. "They're packed with Nutrients." 
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it 
actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch 
of the tree.The next day, after eating some more dung, he 
reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at 
the top of the Tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a 
farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you 
there.


Lesson Number Three

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be 
Boss.
The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the 
whole body's responses and functions." 
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain 
about and get him to where he wants to go." 
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all 
the work and earn all the money." 
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the 
eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts 
laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss.
So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and 
refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became 
crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart 
and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the 
Boss, so the motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just 
sat and passed out the shit!

Management Lesson
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.
Or:

You don’t have to be a brain to be the boss. You just have to be an asshole. 

Lesson Number Four
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so 
cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large 
field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped 
some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile 
of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung 
was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and 
happy, and soon began to sing for joy. 
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to 
investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the 
bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out 
and ate him!

Management Lesson
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

1 комментарий:

  1. На бусурманском языке написано - ничего непонятно.

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